LIMITED EDITION FINE ART PRINTS
GREENER PASTURES TO
BREAKFAST BASTARDS
Gentlemen & soldiers with a penchant for mischief.
Cut from different cloth, but bound by something stronger than their differences.
One charges forward on instinct, fueled by adventure and a talent for turning trouble into opportunity. Another speaks little, observes everything, and is already ten steps ahead. The third sees what others overlook—the possibilities, the people, and the extraordinary hiding in the ordinary. A good heart, a sharp mind, and a little steel beneath the charm.
Different minds. Different strengths. One unbreakable bond.
Adventure calls. Chances are taken. Lines are crossed. Trouble follows. Sometimes they even cause it.
They know when to stand their ground, when to break the rules, and when to fight for something bigger than themselves.
They take their lumps. They carry their scars. And somehow, they always find a reason to laugh.
They stumble. They get back up. But they NEVER quit.
A decorated gentleman whose strength was earned one difficult day at a time.
Disciplined. Deliberate. Unshakable.
He believes every man should stand for something—family, honor, tradition, or the friend beside him. He doesn't seek conflict, but he has never walked away from a worthy one.
His greatest weapon isn't force…It's conviction.
No one knows exactly how old he is.
He's been cracked more times than anyone can count, yet somehow always finds a way to hold himself together. He speaks softly, listens carefully, and has the remarkable ability to make impossible situations seem manageable.
He doesn't win through force.
He wins because he refuses to break.
The others may lead the charge, but when the dust settles, they're all looking to Egg.
A bovine of distinction.
Warmth radiates through his eyes, offering comfort to strangers and wisdom to friends. His presence settles the room before he ever speaks.
Yet beneath the gentle exterior is Swiss precision. He has an uncanny ability to leave perfectly placed holes in the finest wool coat while somehow improving its character.
He heals more than he harms, but he'll defend what he loves with quiet resolve.
THE COMPLETE COLLECTION
BACON • EGG • CHEESE
ALL THREE PRINTS — $100
18×24 Fine Art Posters | FREE U.S. Shipping
Bacon
Bacon wasn’t born into power. He earned it—fighting every day, learning every lesson, and outlasting those who underestimated him. Life itself becamehis battlefield, and every challenge was a drill in strategy, patience, and strength.
On the field, he is unstoppable—each step deliberate, each move calculated. Commanding respect without raising his voice, he leads not by fear, but by mastery. Allies follow him; rivals hesitate.
Off the battlefield, he is just as formidable. His mind sharp, his judgment unshakable, Bacon reads the world like a map and shapes it with intention. He thrives in chaos yet never loses control.
He has scars—physical and mental—but they only make him stronger, wiser, more disciplined. Every victory, every failure, every quiet moment in between has forged a creature of steel beneath the calm, calculated exterior.
Bacon doesn’t chase glory. Glory follows him.
And when he acts, the world already knows: it’s too late to resist.
Egg
Built like a feathered tank with a chest always pushed forward, this bird walks like every step echoes. Slow. Intentional. Unshaken. His comb sits sharp like a crown, and his eyes carry that “I’ve seen things” energy—calm, but never to be tested.
He doesn’t rush. He doesn’t panic. While the rest of the farm flutters, he observes.
At sunrise, his crow doesn’t just wake the day—it announces ownership. The yard, the fence, the dirt, the sky above it… all his domain.
He’s got that gritty, masculine edge—like worn leather, dust, and long days. The kind of presence that doesn’t need noise to command attention. But when he does make noise? Everyone listens.
Loyal to his circle. Ruthless when challenged. Quietly intelligent.
And if something crosses the line…
…that’s when the feathers stop being soft.
Cheese
Cheese is a bovine of distinction, a creature whose calm authority and gentle warmth flow through every glance. His eyes heal, soothe, and draw others in, yet behind that serenity lies sharp intelligence and playful precision.
He is the Cheese—master of Swiss-style artistry. With a deft touch, he leaves perfectly placed holes in your woolen coat, a subtle signature of his cleverness and refined mischief. Every move is deliberate, every rumble measured, and every interaction leaves a mark—soft, yet unforgettable.
Beneath the gentle exterior is strategy, dignity, and patience earned over years of observing the world. He teaches without words, heals without touch, and reminds all who meet him that distinction is not claimed—it is embodied.
Chancellor Cheese does not simply exist; he presides, leaving the world both comforted and quietly astonished.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Yes, portraits of beloved pets and farm animals alike. Once, we even traveled all the way to Scotland to paint a blue unicorn. Majestic, indeed!
Have a special companion you'd love to immortalize on canvas? We'd love to hear their story.
Drop us a line at commissions@baconhamsausage.com and let's make some magic!
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Roughly 10 business days for editions to be printed.
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Expedited shipping is included in the price.
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Each piece is custom-produced specifically for you, so all sales are final.
However, if your artwork arrives damaged or defective, please contact editions@baconhamsausage.com within 10 days of receiving your order.
Please include your order number, clear photographs of the damaged artwork, and photographs of the original shipping packaging, including the exterior box and interior protective materials.
We'll review your claim and work toward an appropriate resolution.
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We'd love to hear from you! Whether you have a question, a special request, or just want to say hello, give us a holler at holler@baconhamsausage.com.
We'll do our best to get back to you as quickly as possible!
Contact us.
holler@baconhamsausage.com